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the silence will fall…

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I can’t seem to find the desire to acknowledge diabetes in my life.  My A1C is stagnant.  My writing is stale. Apathy reigns.  I remembered kind of last-minute that I never made my endo appointment.  Luckily, when I called, she had a cancellation the next day.  But that meant that I didn’t get the blood work done before hand.  I was anxious that she would be judgemental or judge me as harshly as I was judging myself.  She didn’t.  I am grateful that she is very positive.  Her professionalism shines.  The last visit actually helped me in ways she’ll never know.  Mostly because I don’t like to talk about the mental/emotional side of diabetes.  It’s not that she wouldn’t understand per say…ok, maybe it is a little.  She is not a person with diabetes.  Regardless, it’s good to have someone who looks at numbers and applies logic and medical knowledge.  I’ve got the emotional side covered.  To be truthful, I don’t want to think or feel about diabetes any more than necessary.  It’s very helpful to approach it from the outside sometimes.

That is why the silence has fallen on this blog.  I haven’t read as many blogs either.  To be fair to myself there has been so much happening in a short time that I really haven’t had time.  Time to blog about the fact that it took me roughly seven months to get my transmitters for my Dexcom and luckily my G4’s had lasted far longer than the six months meaning I wasn’t in dire straights regarding CGM coverage.  Time to blog about my thoughts with the G5 vs the G4 system.  Time to blog about the endless pod failure alarms all in the same lot number.  The list goes on.

Finding the right words to write for this blog means I have to think about this insidious disease for longer than I already am required to day-in day-out.  Most days I sail through managing things with finesse.  Other days I forget to bolus and find myself chasing the numbers.  And the silence reigns.

But not today…today I break the silence.

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